I think this is a cool story that sucked me in right away. I think you should continue it. My only suggestion would be to tell it from Aurora's POV from the start, like starting the scene with Lily coming into her room. Maybe Lily could act shocked at being asked to smile instead of getting into her internal thoughts.
I would read more. There is plenty of backstory around the present action to make me wonder what disaster will happen. There are plenty of ways I can see you going with this start.
Intriguing...
I think this is a cool story that sucked me in right away. I think you should continue it. My only suggestion would be to tell it from Aurora's POV from the start, like starting the scene with Lily coming into her room. Maybe Lily could act shocked at being asked to smile instead of getting into her internal thoughts.
Held my attention from the first paragraph! Excellent pacing. I agree with other, perfect for Halloween. Keep up the good writing.
Thank you, Lynn. I'll post more next Wednesday.
Oh so creepy, intriguing, and yes, I can't wait for more! Perfect for Halloween!
I would read more!
I would read more. There is plenty of backstory around the present action to make me wonder what disaster will happen. There are plenty of ways I can see you going with this start.
Locked cellar doors always signal something sinister.